What is Identity? If we want to live our own inner life, our own world, our own truth, we have to free ourselves from identifications that alienate us from ourselves. As long as we are alienated from ourselves, we do not think for ourselves when we think, we do not act for ourselves when we act and we do not speak for ourselves when we speak.
We are someone different from ourselves and from the world than who we are in truth.
Identity is simply to be ourselves. It means to be authentic. But for many of us it is not as easy as it sounds. We have more or less all gone through an educational mill that alienated us from ourselves, that filled our minds with standards instead of truths, with collective norms, instead of reflecting about our own world and grasping the significance of our own being.
For many of us, identity is therefore a whole process that extends over years, if not over our entire lives, a process of (re)finding ourselves and our authentic being.
In this learning process it is essential for most of us to learn to say no and to listen to our inner needs, to express them and to bring them to bear fruits. Only when we listen to ourselves will we be listened to, only when we respect ourselves in our innermost world will the world respect us, the others, or society, the collective, as a whole.
Our first step towards reconciliation with society and a true social life is therefore to recognize, acknowledge and live our own identity. In this process, detachment from identification and role-playing is an inevitable step, but only a first step. But to the extent that we free ourselves from identification with others, we gain the inner freedom to be truly ourselves and to affirm our identity and become authentic.
Our thinking, speaking and acting then has a different quality, as it takes place from the centre of our wholeness. It is then thinking, speaking and acting whole.